Whinging Wednesday - Shoes That Tone Your Bottom

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Don't know if you've been given the news yet, but the market is awash with shoes that plump your bottom. Yay! No need for that planned surgery any more. I know this sounds a bit crazy, but you've got to hear me out.

All you have to do to tone your gluteus maximus (the muscle - or pocket of flesh - that is your bottom) is buy these shoes and wear them. Seriously, there is no need for exercise, no need for eating right, nothing. Forget all the years and effort you put into climbing up and down the steps, wearing out your cheap, multicoloured stairs carpet. 

Never mind all the rides you turned down just so you could walk an extra block to give those babies a boost. Don't even think about all the hours wasted at that expensive gym, where you swallowed your pride and got on that awkward, uppy, downy machine which makes your bottom wiggle and jiggle. And the times you looked all stupid climbing the stairs at work when all the J-lo haters were taking the stairs - forget about it!

These new and improved shoes come with a built-in plan. They do just what they say they will. Honest! I give you my word they'll work. After all, I have seen this advert on the telly. 

Have a bonfire and get rid of your hated rowing machine and gym bikes that take up so much space in your living rooms and conservatories. It's not like you use them anyway. Of course, you meant to when you got them home from the store, but by the time you'd finished paying (with interest) for them, the excitement had faded, and frankly, you don't have the time.

The diet? You can forget that too. These shoes are the bees' knees. They are all you need for a toned, fit, attractive tushy. Buy them and yours would be the talk of the town. 

Come on (insert name of very popular sports shoes manufacturers, think something that rhymes with 'zeepoc') who do you think you're kidding? While I must admit I love watching the lovely bums on my television screen, (maybe even much more than my husband does, but that's an issue I will take up with my shrink if I ever do get one) I don't for one minute believe that mere shoes can do wonders to any part of my body. This has got the 'too good to be true' story written all over its sole. 

Skechers Women's Shape Up-Strength Fitness Walking Shoe,Black/White,10 M US
The link is for those who want to see what they are.


Dan Holloway April 14, 2010 at 12:26 PM  

I know lots of people who swear by these types of shoes and it makes me despair. True, I can see there may be a posture-related element, just like orthopaedic chairs make you sit correctly by forcing your posture, but seriously? Twice, three times the price for a pair of shoes when walking up stairs was still, last time I looked, free?!

Anne Lyken-Garner April 14, 2010 at 1:07 PM  

Exactly, Dan! A lot of people will try anything, as long as it's the easy option of getting what they want. In relation to these shoes, I think many will feel ripped off by what they think is a great idea.

Tamika: April 14, 2010 at 2:17 PM  

I'll spend money on a lot things, shoes included! But they better be fierce!

Michele April 14, 2010 at 3:14 PM  

Will one of you try these out for me and report back? LOL...yes, it's a scam, but if just one of you reported that it worked, I shamefully admit that I would buy 3 pair....ha.

Anne Lyken-Garner April 14, 2010 at 10:32 PM  

Oh, Michelle, I'd probably be right behind you! :-)

LARCHMONT April 15, 2010 at 7:34 AM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous April 15, 2010 at 3:00 PM  

I've heard this before, but not sure if I want to go for it! Imagine a world of just "Plump buttocks", big and small...not quite pretty!

Anne's a published author, freelance writer and experienced editor. She's just signed her second publishing contract this year with 2 separate publishing houses. You can hire her or see her available books in the side panel on the right.
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