Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 1 of the Virtual Blog Tour of author Michael David Lawrience, whose book Emotional Health: The Secret for Freedom from Drama, Trauma, & Pain comes to Amazon as a softcover mid-June.
Michael David Lawrience is a certified Residential Coach III with over 13 years’ experience teaching teen’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-reliance. He has over 35 years’ experience as a holistic health practitioner with a B.A in Sacred Healing and has been a certified Bowenwork Practitioner since 2005. His niche is emotional health with extensive personal experience related to codependency recovery, strengthening self-esteem, healing the inner child, stress management, and meditation which he has practiced for over 40 years.
Today, I'd like to share with you a recent interview I had with Michael when I got to ask him about the topic of recognizing self-sabotage, the causes of self-sabotage, and overcoming the roots of self-sabotage . I hope you enjoy it.
Michael: We all have our ways of perceiving the world from our core beliefs, conscious and unconscious. We create our experiences to confirm the truth of our perceptions. We may have a core belief that we will never succeed at anything we do. So we set up our outcomes to prove that we will never succeed and thereby sabotage any possibility of success and we keep creating obstacles to our success on an unconscious level.
If for example we start a new relationship, expecting it to fail like all our previous ones than it probably will and we get to be right. Rather than continuing to create a false paradigm, we could choose to look at our core beliefs and “truths” to assess their degree of truth.
We might also examine our negative self-talk and our tendency to view life through the paradigm of a negative lens. As our perceptions shift, so may our outcomes.
Anne: What are the Causes of Self-Sabotage?
Michael: When we want to improve our lives we set an intention of what we would like and then we look for results. We may have visualized the result and taken some actions. Why do our intentions fall short of our desired results? Maybe it’s “counter intention.”
Counter Intention is a belief we hold in direct opposition to our conscious intention buried in our unconscious mind. We may for example have intent to weigh less. In the unconscious we may have a belief if we look good and attract more partners than we will have to be more intimate, yet we fear
So which intent will win? Our unconscious or counter intention always wins because it has the greater power.
The conflict sets up an energy block within us and since our unconscious has the greater power we end up getting the opposite of our conscious intent. The energy system within our body changes polarity - a Psychological Reversal. All self-sabotage results from Psychological Reversal.
We can compare Psychological Reversal to positive and negative batteries in a flashlight. They need to be properly installed for the flashlight to work. Polarity change means the positive and negative energy systems in our body have been switched and we get the opposite of our conscious choices.
Psychological Reversal occurs when our unconscious mind believes it is better for us to keep our chronic pain, extra weight, or bad habit rather than change.
The following explains in brief detail how our inner child, Shadow, or victim consciousness may sabotage our success.
Cathryn Taylor a counselor and author of The Inner Child Workbook explains how our inner child can sabotage us. Our inner child sabotages our efforts to succeed in an attempt to protect us from failure . . . it fears our success! It fears our being too powerful. It is frightened we will get hurt.
Our Shadow sabotages us when we deny it and push feelings and behaviors we dislike down into our subconscious. As Carl Jung said the Shadow is, The negative side of the personality, the sum of all those unpleasant qualities we like to hide, together with the insufficiently developed functions. For example, intense reactions to others may indicate the same qualities within ourselves we refuse to face.
Finally, our victim mentality sabotages us through unconscious thoughts of being unworthy and powerless. Victims fail to recognize themselves as victims to their own critical thoughts and beliefs.
Anne: How Do We Overcome the Roots of Self-Sabotage?
Michael: We can start to become aware of our unconscious beliefs through reprogramming methods such as the one explained in Carolyn Ball’s book, Claiming Your Self-Esteem.
We can also use ways to dissolve and release these beliefs once we become aware of them. One way is Byron Katie’s, The Work, which has 4 questions for releasing beliefs which no longer serve us.
The Emotional Freedom Technique – EFT – also has a method for dealing with subconscious objections or yes-buts that may arise to sabotage the positive affirmations used as part of the EFT. Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, calls the yes-buts “tail enders.”
EFT combines tapping certain acupressure points on the body while repeating a specific choice statement to release physical or emotional issues. The method would include the original statement and an antidote to the tail ender. For example, the original choice: “I choose to be successful in my business.” The tail ender: But if I am successful other people will ridicule me the way my father used to.” The antidote: I choose to feel respected even when I am successful.” The final statement: I choose to feel respected even when I am successful in my business.”
Self-sabotage has its roots at a cellular level in our DNA. Many of our beliefs, images, and memories remain unconscious at this level. They may come from the DNA of our parents or from painful or traumatic events we experienced as children.
How can we access and dissolve these sabotaging patterns at the level of the DNA?
Lyn O’Hara, a radiatory healer, radiates energy from the divine through her heart chakra into the auric field and body of the client. She then asks permission to enter the clients DNA into held patterns of trauma. The trauma then releases without any pain. Lyn further assists by asking questions for the client to gain realizations.
Another way is through the self-healing positions described in The Healing Code by Loyd and Johnson.
I hope you enjoyed this interview with Michael and that you’ll check out his book when it is ready at Amazon mid-June and 0rder other versions here now at http://ow.ly/4AmJz Please feel free to share your comments.
Be sure to follow Michael tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Roy Martina who will be interviewing Michael on his approach to heal past negative emotions, the role of meditation in emotional healing, and common misconceptions about emotional healing. To visit that "stop" on the tour, go to http://emotionalbalance.com/?p=177
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